Someday

One day, I will lean against my Daddy's chest and be at home. He'll wrap me in his arms and everything will be wonderful forever. This is my new favorite image when I'm worshipping.

A while back, I remember one of my small group leaders (shoutout to Brittany Davis!) talking on worship and she talked about how it helps her to envision herself in the presence of Jesus. She put it that she is sitting on his lap looking up at him. My image of Jesus and what I envision during those times when I'm closest to him have changed over time. I feel like I come closer and closer to his heart.

Tonight, we sang this song about how he'll wrap His mighty arms around us, and I knew that my image was about to change. Kind of an odd way to think about worship, but I'm finding I have connected with my Father in a much different way when I'm put into a different mindset like this. I love that he is able to speak to my heart in a way that is so terribly unique to me. He wraps me up and shows me what he knows I need to see.

Tonight the speaker at IV was discussing the portion of Jesus' sermon on the mount about lust. When he started talking, I went immediately on the dismissal. I thought that I could just swipe aside this topic because I've got it under control in this area. But that is far from the truth and I know it. I cannot pretend that I've never lusted after guys. It's true. Maybe I've never been into pornography or anything like that, but if I'm honest with myself, I know that I've been guilty of thinking about attractive guys in movies, or just whom I meet, in ways that are not right. And sin is sin. That's it. I'm no better than the worst of sinners.

But Brian (the speaker) also brought up a point about lust that I had never really thought about before. He made the point that we can lust after more than just people. Though the word predominately revolves around others, it can also be used in light of other issues. Lusting for power. Lusting for money. Lusting for our own ideas of what our life will look like according to us. Lusting for the easy life where we don't need to step out of our comfort zone because we aren't willing to pursue Jesus' heart strongly enough.

Brian quoted John Piper, and I love love love the quote he chose. Piper is talking about the issue of lust and sexual impurity and says:

The great tragedy is not mainly masturbation or fornication or acting like a peeping Tom (or curious Cathy) on the Internet. The tragedy is that Satan uses the guilt of these failures to strip you of every radical dream you ever had, or might have, and in its place give you a happy, safe, secure, American life of superficial pleasures until you die in your lakeside rocking chair, wrinkled and useless, leaving a big fat inheritance to your middle-aged children to confirm them in their worldliness.

I just love how he puts this and really makes explicit the idea that we were meant for something so much greater. And we lose this when we let ourselves be vulnerable to the temptations of satan. This situation is quickly becoming a fear of mine. I don't want my life to sound anything like this. What he describes is what millions of americans hope for. It's what they dream about and work their whole lives for.

And it's certainly something I could get caught up in. The pursuit of the easy life that the world tells us is good enough. Send your check off to the charity and feel good about yourself as you spend ten times the amount on the vacation you're planning for yourself. Don't let yourself feel the pain of the hunger the people feel who are on the other side of the mailbox because that's too much for you too handle. It's too painful. It's too radical. It's too crazy. It's too undignified for someone who has always had everything they needed at their fingertips. I'm determined to never be in a position where I can simply insulate myself from those who live a life that isn't as easy as mine. It's not fair to me or them and it's nowhere near the life Christ has called all of us to. If we can call ourselves Christians, pursuers of the heart of Christ, we need to look in the mirror and simply evaluate whether or not we are actually doing this.

And I think this weekend will be a wake-up call for me in this area. Tomorrow (I guess later today now- late night blogging!!) we will leave for a weekend retreat in Heber, where we'll get Christian fellowship and speaking and worship and just time to be with Yeshua. Which brings me back to the beginning. This weekend I cannot wait to spend time with my Daddy, being wrapped in his arms, and having him let me lean my head against his chest. Because that's where I belong.